Another One of my Former Lovers.

And, no it is not William Shakespeare.

Ten years ago when I was living in West Hampstead with Sian and Seanine, two Royal College of Music students. I developed a curious fascination for one Joseph Priestley. I liked the man so much that I had a life sized cardboard cut out of him made.

It was also a bit of a protest because I was getting a bit cheesed off with them both (Sian and Seanine) trying to fix me up with some of their crusty dope smoking musician friends. So, Joseph Priestley this extraordinary man of science rescued me from that terrible fate. They were actually horrified when I brought him home, back to the flat. I on the other hand was delighted. I was now no longer single and I had at last found someone who was really special. I can honestly say (hand on heart) he never ever strayed once.

What I liked About him .....

Well, By heck, he's a solid Northern lad is our Joseph. He wore born in tha village I wore born in - Birstall. He's dead flash like, as he likes to do fancy experiments with test tubes and pumps and other things. He discovered oxygen, invented soda water. By heck tha lad is bright.

God Bless you and your dephlogisticated air Joseph.

Sadly, in Birstall marketplace where his statue stands on a plinth, it's subjected to frequent attacks of vandalism, by the underclass. Even the pigeons don't care about him, they crap on his head all day. The dross have even been known to place an orange beacon on his head, and Tesco carrier bags are usually strung on both of his arms. So, Joseph lad this one is for you.

"Joseph Priestley (March 13, 1733 in Birstall – February 8, 1804 ) was an Yorkshire chemist, philosopher, dissenting clergyman, and educator. He had important contributions in the fields of education, moral philosophy, theology, metaphysics, political economy, history and physical science.
He is known for his investigations of carbon dioxide and the co-discovery (with Antoine Lavoisier) of oxygen (see also Carl Wilhelm Scheele)".

So, where is my former lover now? Well, I delivered him to BBC Portland Place F.A.O senior producer Piers Plowright, Radio Four.