Whilst Doctor Finlay is in Blackpool with all the other (delicate), sorry I mean delegate doctors (Oooohhh Matron!!), I'm sat in London watching the supreme doctor of the British isles, a Doctor David Cameron on the mamby pamby Andrew Marr show. I have to say I was impressed with what he said, that's the supreme doctor, not mamby pamby Marr. Andrew Marr is obviously a Labour man and went out of his way to trip up Doctor Cameron. Anyway he was confident and resolute. What does resolute mean?
As I was cleaning a collection of Doctor Finlay's stethoscopes I made a mental note of what the supreme doctor said, here we go:
- Brown uses green taxes as a stealth tax.
- Crime, breakdown of responsibility in our society, criminals only go to prison for a few weeks. Therefore there is no real punishment - they're getting away with it basically, which exacerbates the problem further. (Dear Reader - please read the rest of this in a Salford accent - out loud and proud) Fuck-it they think! I make more money doing this than me (my) old man does selling fur coats on E-Bay. Yes, that's right you heard it here first. Now resume your normal accent - it was just that bit before.
- More opportunity and power to ordinary people, Cameronitis is the real alternative, real change.
- Family breakdown, tax relief for married couples, people who are single, bringing up kids get greater tax relief than those living together.
- Family breakdown highest in Europe, this obviously impacts on a child's mental, social development. 1 in 4 kids don't know their fathers.
- He wants to lift 300,000 kids out of poverty.
- Under Labour gun crime has doubled, the health service is still shite
- Immigration - needs to be more controlled, as it puts pressure on an already pressurised infrastructure. Don't use emotive language, be sensible, be moderate.
- Fish Fingers are nice, don't over cook them in the microwave like my friend LIz Cohen did (back in 1993 - in my King William IV Cottage in Devon, off Station Road, Totnes - I think she was doing it as little experiment), as they shrivel up, go so small like the size of a pea.
- Yeah, I think Cameron did well.
- Work with private companies, like they do in America and Australia, focus on getting the 5 million unemployed back to work.
- Fix the broken society - because let's face it, it is broken. Brown is living in gagga land when he says, 'don't let anyone ever tell you that our society is broken' If people are going to fall for this, then they are dimmer than me.
- Fish fingers crossed, let's hope the compelling alternative works.