Tuesday, 12 June 2007

If You Are Young-ish Gifted and Tory - Then You Are Invited to My Birthday Bash in Stokey! This Saturday.

An open invitation to celebrate DSBJ's 35th birthday on Saturday 16th June 2007.

Okay - so we have two rather stuffy Tory Party Conferences every year - well, they've got nothing on mine, mine is a mini less anal version. Mine will be much more accessible to all walks of life as it does not happen during the week of work, and guess what - it's entirely free! They'll be no queues, no security checks. There might be a few speeches, but that's about it.

Read Below, if you fulfil the following criteria then you are more than welcome to attend:
  • If you are a Tory - then you can come.
  • If you are under eighty years old - then you can come.
  • If you earn less than 30k - then you can definitely come.
  • If you are signing on - then you can come.
  • If you are in Stoke Newington on Saturday around 2pm - then you can come.

  • If you earn over 30k - then you cannot come.
  • If you are a member of any other political party that is not Tory - then you cannot come.
  • Sorry guys, but if you are a Stoke Newington crusty with a dog on the end of a piece of string then you are definitely not coming to my party. I hate crusties!!!!

What You Need:
Note to potential party goer - this is an interactive party (actually I think most parties are interactive), but this one is different.

You will need: -

  1. A water pistol - this is essential!!
  2. A large container of water (Highland Spring please, or, alternatively Strathmore)
  3. A bucket of water.
  4. A packet of water bombs - this is essential!!
  5. A change of clothes/shoes/a towel.
  6. A sponge.
  7. A sense of humour.
  8. A bottle of wine.
  9. A packed lunch or picnic.

Where we are meeting:

2pm in Clissold Park, Stoke Newington, outside the cafe.

If you are coming then you need to email me on: teacher-on-a-bike@hotmail.co.uk

The Running Order:

  1. Speech from DSBJ.
  2. 10 minute water pistol fight followed by a water bomb fight.
  3. Break - glass of wine.
  4. Bucket of water fight - we all throw buckets of water over each other.
  5. Speech from Justin Hinchcliffe (http://www.hunterandshooter.blogspot.com/).
  6. Break - glass of wine.
  7. Sponge fight - this involves running around throwing wet sponges at each other.
  8. Break - Toast to our leader David Cameron this is delivered by David Allen.
  9. Final water pistol fight.
  10. If we feel energetic we can end on a game of hide and seek.
  11. The rest of the afternoon drinking more wine and maybe a trip to Il Bacio.

See You Saturday - Straight up this is no joke!!!


Croydonian said...

Atta girl

Anonymous said...

Well all get ASBOs!!!! Justin x

Tom Mason said...

Happy Birthday Cat!

Anonymous said...

can i come...u look cute in ur pics


Darkersideofbridgetjones said...

Of course you can come secretsquirrelSWUK2007. You must however fulfil all of the criteria in order to be accepted as a happy Stokey Party goer.

I am borrowing a set of bongos from school, I will be there drumming on Saturday.

I will bring you some nuts.
love dsbj

PS - Don't forget your pistol.