The kids in Salford were always playing practical jokes on me, because I am incredibly easy person to wind up and I do have the tendency to over react to just about everything. One morning I was sat in my office and could hear one of my students, "Miss, Miss, Miss .... Are you there?"
I said, "Is that you William? Where are you? I can't see you."
He said, "Miss I am above your head". I looked up to see a large pipe, I think it was some sort of air vent thing. "What do you mean you're a above me?"
He replied "I am trapped Miss. I climbed into the air vent and now I am stuck in it. I can't get out".
So I immediately ran out of the office and into the room next door where I knew there was a small opening to it, only to discover half a dozen giggling boys. William was standing on a desk laughing his head off.
Kids are great fun though. I had a really embarrassing experience, when I turned up for one of my lessons, in the main hall to find that the entire class were all hiding. I spent the first part of the lesson running around trying to find them all, every time I had my back turned one of them would switch the lights off, so I couldn't see anything. I just thought I hope to God the head doesn't walk past now or I am fucked. They would even do things like chase after me and try and tickle me. I swear to God that is true. I just didn't know what to do about that. We didn't cover this on my teaching training course - what to do if a group of hysterical kids start chasing you and tickling you. So, I had to come clean and tell my boss. She came to the next lesson and told them that they must stop tickling Ms. Mackenzie, as it is not appropriate behaviour. I was so embarrassed. It's just not normal is it, twenty odd kids chasing after a teacher.
I was terrified when the snake was stolen from the Science department.
One time I was doing dinner duty in the canteen and I just stood there and stared at them all. I thought to myself, 'there's something about these kids and I am not sure what it is'. I was troubled, they were bothering me in so many ways. And, then it hit me, right between the eyes: They all look the fucking same. I subsequently found out that there is a lot of incest in that part of Salford. My God - they are all the same, this is just one big extended family.
When they locked me in the porta-cabin that's when I knew it was time to leave.