Sunday, 18 March 2007

TP Fuller has Made Contact

It appears there is going to be a mini revolution at school. Some members of staff are referring to the senior management team as operating an oppressive regime. Well I cannot play any part in this revolution because I don’t agree with it. I am not a brown noser, but I am going to support the head. There are definitely problems at the school. The head is actually under considerable strain. I found out that two years ago there was murder directly outside the school gates. It was one of our kids; he stabbed another one of our kids and killed him. She can be rather gruff at times and she does pressurise us all a bit too much. I think what I’ll do when it all kicks off and the anarchy begins. I’ll just make a barricade outside the drama studio and lock 7H, my favourite class, in the room, take them all on a journey. We’ll travel out of Rostov on a slow moving train with the destination of ______________in the Ukraine. We’ll pass the Carpathian Mountains. I can do this because I have a very expensive interactive white board. This is exactly what I am going to do.

TP Fuller’s Made Contact.

I rarely clear out my pigeon hole. I was brave enough to do it on Friday though, only to discover, right at the back, a hand written envelope, with beautiful italic hand writing. I was curious, I never get letters like this, most of the stuff I get are either circulars or junk mail, but this envelope was different. I opened it and discovered to my surprise that it was in fact from TP Fuller. Bloody Hell! He lives on. It was partly written in Arabic because he’s still got this whole Ibn Batutta fixation going on. I asked my Moroccan friend Mrs Hamdoun to translate it, which she did, lovely woman. Anyway, this is basically the content of the letter.

Dear Miss Mackenzie,

I understand your dilemma.
If you stay in Hackney you must do the following:
1) Remove all items of furniture from your room.
2) Replace them with 15 mattresses, which you must staple to the walls.
3) Then run from one wall to the next. Run into the walls. Scream!!!!!!

Please find enclosed a cheque for £750.00 for the total cost of the mattresses.

1) You assume the identity of Ibn Batutta and leave Hackney.
2) Start to plan the journey now.
3) No cheque enclosed for this project, just a map, an ancient map I found in the attic of my Hampshire house. Go Mackenzie! Go!

1) Drink yourself to death.

Yours sincerely
TP Fuller


Darkersideofbridgetjones said...

Off to the Pub

Anonymous said...

I'd cash the cheque and buy the MATTRESSES!