Monday, 16 April 2007

My Mate.


On my recent trip to Scotland I decided that I wanted to get a friend a gift. I think it’s good to treat your friends. Let's them know that they are appreciated.

I had heard that Ben More, a Munro would be a good place to get the first gift. I was brave as it is not the easiest of mountains to climb. But, what awesome views were in store for me once I had reached the summit. It is an impressive mountain. The summit lies at a kind of crossroads in between three ridges. It was craggier the higher up I got, but it was ok because I had my oxygen with me and an extra pair of shoes. I knew I wasn’t going to die.

I went up the Gleann na Beinne Fada route and that’s where I saw it – the stag. I was ready for it. I pulled out my vintage hammer gun, which dates back to the 1850’s. The ammunition was ready I just had to ensure I kept a steady hand when pulling the trigger, which I did. I was successful I’ve never shot a stag before, so I did well. The next problem, or should I say challenge was how am I going to get the stag down this mountain? And, secondly, there’s just not going to be any way this will fit on a National Express Coach.

So, I rang my dad. He advised me to hire a chain saw.

I am not into blood. So, we had to find an alternative way of presenting this gift to my friend. The taxidermist in St. Andrews seemed like the most sensible option.

I am bit worried about my friend as we've not heard from him since we delivered the stag last week, in the dumper truck. I hope he's alright?! He insisted on a gift from Scotland, and he also insisted on something other than rock. Perhaps I should have a bought him a kilt.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, young lady. This really not, killing a beautiful beast like a stag, then getting it stuffed and delivered to London in a dumper truck. You need to be certified. I am going to tell Mr. IBN BATUTTA. HE'S NOW APPARENTLY VEGGIE. I LET HIM TELL U WHY. IT'S THAT GOVERNOR BLEEDIN TUNIS UP TO HIS CALLOUS TRICKS. REGARDS PEGGY SUE.

Anonymous said...

Does Ibn Batutta know about this friend? I met him, last week, in Paris. He was upset with the governor of Tunis. It's complicated. It's best that it comes from him.
Love Mr. Fisher, Scarborough Harbour, 1974.

Anonymous said...

WHEN I SHOT A STAG LAST YEAR, THE HIGHLAND POLICE ARRESTED ME. I GOT 4 MONTHS. I AM A SNITCH So I AM GOING TO GRASS U UP.

Anonymous said...

WHEN I SHOT A STAG LAST YEAR, THE HIGHLAND POLICE ARRESTED ME. I GOT 4 MONTHS. I AM A SNITCH So I AM GOING TO GRASS U UP.

Anonymous said...

This is not on. it's cruel.

wild blue said...

It takes more than a week to stuff an animal. Come on people, lighten up.

Anonymous said...

From the Muppets : We are also stuffed animals and it does only take one week with us. I know we're small and not big like a stag but I have heard that the Taxidermist in St. Andrews is exceptional. So Stuff you and your knowledge of Taxidermy 'Wild Blue!'

Look, if you don't believe me check out -
http://www.st.andrewstaxidmery@barnabas.com

Regards Ms. Piggy.

wild blue said...

OK 'Ms Piggy' I stand corrected. The whole thing seemed so obviously a wind up. Some people have no sense of humour.

Anonymous said...

Please don't buy your friend a kilt - I've seen his legs and they are best kept hidden.