Because I am loyal to doctor Finlay I decided to visit Joan in the hospital, I bought her a gift and no it wasn't grapes, it was a DYSON top of he range 2007 knitting machine - actually, snatchally
I said, "Doris, sorry I mean Joan, you'll be knitting those award winning scarfs in no time at all, and as for those mittens, well you'll be churning mittens out in minutes. You'll be known as 'the minute a mitten granny'. You'll win prizes for speed as well design. Believe me Joan, I can feel it in me waters."
And, with that she gave me a gummy smile (coz she hadn't put her dentures in).
Just to recap:-
Joan got a knitting machine, and not as originally planned a badly fitting prosthetic thumb - not to worry, nothing ever really goes to plan in life, call me cynic.
Doctor Finlay is crossing the French alps wearing flip flops, sexy leathers, on the back of a motorbike and I'm sat here in Scotland, watching gay men having sex on channel Four.