Friday, 12 October 2007

Through the clouds I can see.... (Bananas, frozen men in cheap suits, with blue rosettes)

"It was time", I thought to myself, "To go on another adventure". And, so I did. I travelled backwards in time, 3000 years to be precise, and what did I discover, as I reached down into the sandy water? I discovered my reflection - it was a shock I can tell you. I noticed that I was a yhetti - a blond one.

"Why me? Why a yhetti?" I enquired as I looked up into the clouds/river (down into the frozen river - there were a few gold fish, looking up with sad frozen Captain Bird's Eye fish finger eyes - saying please Ms. Yhetti defrost us?). Then I realised, "actually, it's okay. It's rather cold here, and if I just had a human suit of skin on I would be dead. Or, I would be suffering from frost bite and by now all of my extremities would have dropped off. It's the ice-age after all and I'm already pretty cold". Then I placed my hand on what I thought were rocks. I was mistaken, no, it was not a rock, it was a corpse of a large gentleman. Like a big stoney beached whale, just lying there like a gigantic ice-cube.
"Jesus!" I yelped in yhetti yelpness. I won't tell you who it was. But, I knew the name of the man. He was from another era in time. The man, the big man, had a massive blue Conservative rosette pinned to a nasty cheap pin striped suit, "What a plonker" I thought! "Never mind. I am hungry, and cold, and I'm a big hairy yhetti? What do I do now? Should I run up that mountain behind me, and start beating my chest like an ape? No, I know I need a banana. Damn-it! They're all frozen. Hey, is that ASDA over there?"

It is you know - it's ASDA.

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