Wednesday, 21 February 2007

Coming Soon - The Truth About Me, My Liver and Luke Howard.


In 2002 - I did meet a man. He was the late, great Luke Howard, a eighteenth/nineteenth century amateur meteorologist. At the time I was at my lowest - I'd hit the bottle really badly - 'Domestos'. I just couldn't stop cleaning my flat, in Salford. Well, the truth was, it was absolutely filthy. I had let things go (I wasn't well), even my facial hair was out of control. I had become so obsessed with cleaning that I got through six pairs of marigolds, during that lonely half-term break.

At first I thought this must be a hallucination because I had obviously been exposed to high levels of fumes from the bleach. But, I was wrong, it was the man himself - risen from the dead. A distinguished man of the clouds. He took me by the hand and then led away.... To the Trafford Centre, we went shopping together. That glorious afternoon we indulged in amusing anecdotes about our mutual fascination with the clouds.

It was so romantic, he spent much of the day gently whispering in my ear the following ….

“Cirrus, Cirrocumulus, Cirrostratus, Altostratus, Nimbostratus, Stratus, Stratocumulus, Cumulonimbus…..”

Then back to the bed-sit we went where we spent the rest of the afternoon making clouds together. I still have the evidence, bottled away nicely, at the end of my bed.

5 comments:

The Hitch said...

Oh dear the hitch is also a mancunian with a liking for alcohol , I am also a gemini.
I came down to this hell hole in 2002, when did you?

T.P.Fuller said...
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T.P.Fuller said...
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Darkersideofbridgetjones said...

TP Fuller - wash your mouth out with soap. If I saw you I would slap your arrogant face!

The Hitch said...

Miss Jones (said in best Rigsby voice)
This Fuller is an impudent imposter.
The real thomas fuller is a gentleman.
t.p. If you have some ideas (and you do)come up with your own idea, create your own dark village. scotton pinkey is dead.
I miss the place but there you are.